Snipe's Dream
by Aelfswythe
Summary: A lot of odd things are happening at the Newsboys' Lodging House, and it doesn't stop there! A short, humorous little adventure starring Snipeshooter.


May 2000

Aelfswythe

**Authors note:**

**I found this odd little gem in the depths of my writing files from almost 20 years ago [gulp!]. It's one of my earliest fan-fiction attempts, so while it's not stellar, it gave me a laugh and I thought I'd share it in honor of the 120th anniversary of the real Newsboys' Strike of 1899 that just passed: July 20th - August 2, 2019.**

**_Newsies _****belongs to Disney. (And it's one of the best musicals ever!)**

The sun peeked into a crisp clear sky and smiled on the sleepy city of New York. At the Newsboy's Lodging House of Manhattan you could hear moans, whistling, arguing, and an old man telling to get up and sell some papes.

Snipeshooter with Racetrack's stolen cigar hanging from his lips stretched and limped sleepily to the dirty window. He gazed out onto the early morning street and sighed. Another normal, boring, backbreaking day of selling papers. _I hate selling papers, _he thought. (His voice had started to crack and the other newsies made fun of him when he hawked the headlines.) That's really the only reason he had for saying that.

He turned away only to have Race yank the cigar out of his mouth. "Hey!" Snipe cried.

"Same ta you, baby!" Race growled.

Suddenly there was a commotion. Crutchy was yelling.

"I can't believe it! I just can't believe it! Me leg! It woiks!"

Snipe pushed through the crowd of amazed newsies to see Crutchy dancing around on both legs! Suddenly the former gimp collapsed onto the floor.

"Nooo!"

"What?" everyone cried.

They were still staring in disbelief at the healed Crutchy. Crutchy rocked himself on the floor, not answering. Still not understanding, the newsies got ready for the day. Crutchy's shouting from the window halted their progress.

"I'm jumping! And no one can stop me!"

Everyone laughed, thinking he was joking. Suddenly they could hear insane laughter coming from Crutchy three stories below.

"Hahahahahaha!" He screeched. "Now both my legs are broken! Sympathy! It's what I live for!" His laughing turned into sobs of pain.

Everyone looked at each other and then stampeded down the stairs. They surrounded Crutchy, picked him up, and got him a wheel chair. They even got him to stop crying.

Snipe scowled. "Man! That's not fair! He gets ta sit down on da job!"

A loud voice coming from the circulation office interrupted his thoughts. The newsies looked up at the sound.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" Everyone stampeded in wonder to gather around the window of the circulation office. Crutchy wheeled over with a _squeak squeak._ There was Weasel dressed as Santa Claus! Snipe stared. "Merry Christmas, boys! I have presents for all!" He reached into a large red sack. "Mush!" Weasel cried.

The boy stepped forward and opened the box handed to him. "New shoes!" he squeaked. "With matchin' laces!"

"Racetrack, you're next!" Race stepped to the window. "What have ya got, goven'r?" A silvery box was placed in his hands. Inside was a little dead bird. He looked at it suspectingly while everyone's faces showed horror. "A dead boid?" the short Italian questioned.

"No!" Weasel boomed. "Listen carefully. It's got a hot tip on the races...won't waste yer money!"

"Ooohhh." Race stepped back in awe, the dead bird's beak to his ear.

Everyone went forward and received their presents, except for Snipe. Then there was one left. And it was a BIG one. Snipe grinned. It HAD to be his.

"Spot!" Weasel shouted. "Where's Spot? This is for him!"

Spot appeared out of nowhere and ripped it open. "A porcelain tub!" he gasped. "AND it comes wit' boilin' watah!"

Weasel clapped his hands happily and Morris and Oscar jumped to dump steaming hot water into the tub. We'll leave Spot and his tub of water to see Snipe's disappointed face.

"What about me?" he asked.

Jack slapped 2 quarters on the counter. "100 papes, Mr. Wisel."

"No, not yet! My adorable nephews haven't given all of you their present! And please, Cowboy, call me Weasel!"

Snipe shrunk back in terror. What kind of a gift could the Delancy's possibly offer? Oscar and Morris pranced out of the side door, genuine smiles plastered on their faces. (Can't quite picture it can you?)

"We've decided," they chorused in unison, just like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, "to recite to you The Walrus and the Carpenter." Boos and hisses issued from the gathered newsies. "No, just kidding!" they laughed. "We've decided to treat you all to a dinner at Tibby's. Especially, Crutchy." Crutchy beamed and the newsies slapped the Delancy brothers on the back and shook their hands in thanks. Both were ecstatic with joy at their accepted offer.

Snipeshooter was devastated. Where was his present? Suddenly something hard fell on his head. "Ouch!" He looked up to see Pulitzer dumping tons of money out of a huge sack onto the street.

"Hey fellas!" he shouted. They looked up and started scrambling for the money. Nothing less than $5 coins came falling from the sky. Once their pockets were bulging to overflowing they went and bought out Pulitzer...haha just kidding. Anyway Racetrack was the only one that had picked up only 4 coins and disappeared.

Suddenly Jack had a great idea. "Let's buy some paint and decorate ol' Horace!" Shouts of agreement filled the air and they swarmed the general stores buying all of the paint.

Snipe was elated. He held a secret grudge against Mr. Greeley. _No more sleepin' in YER lap!_ he thought happily as he delicately painted a red mustache on the statue.

The newsies were slapping paint all over the statue until Spot came out of his tub, his clothes dripping, and a towel around his head. "What's goin' on?"

"We're painting Horace!" Boots exclaimed.

"Aah, baby stuff."

Jack turned from painting Horace's hands a bright blue. "And I suppose you have a better idea?" he retorted.

Spot mumbled. "Just you wait. I ain't got awl da supplies just yet, but we'll have some real fun tonight. You in?"

"Whatever you say, Conlon." Since everyone was in such a fun, playful mood, Kid Blink all of a sudden went too far.

"Hey, Snipe, you wanna have a look?" Snipe stopped painting the eyes yellow and turned to see Blink pointing to his eye patch.

"Wha-? Blink, NO!" The younger boy got down and started to back away in shock. "No, you wouldn't!" Blink started to lift his patch and laughed. "NO!" Losing all control Snipeshooter flew at Kid Blink and punched his good eye. Blink howled in pain and flailed at Snipe, but he was already out of reach. Kid Blink ended up having to use 2 eye patches.

Finally the Delancy's showed up and escorted the newsies to lunch. Racetrack still hadn't come back. Jack had also temporarily left saying he had to dress for dinner. As soon as all the newsies were seated at Tibby's and had ordered, a girl burst in the door and sat next to Skittery.

"Hello!" the voice was not a girl's but a high pitched boy's voice! Everyone looked closer to see that it was Jack! They bust out laughing. Jack batted his eyes at Morris who grinned stupidly, not catching on yet.

Soon the food arrived and they started eating. Suddenly, Racetrack swept grandly through the door and stood there, extremely aloof and full of himself.

"Race, where'd you get dem fancy clothes?" Boots asked laughing.

Racetrack was still holding the little silver box and dressed to the nine, new clothes, new shoes, a new watch, and a new haircut. His slicked hair shined in the dim light. He was also a little breathless. "I won 10 races in a row! Dis boid woirks!"

"Psh, yeah right!" Specs cried.

Race graciously handed Snipe a large box of cigars with a flourish.

The boy cried out happily. "Havana cigars! Geez, Race, thanks!" He grinned in ecstasy.

"No problem."

Jack, still dressed as a girl shook his head. "So now dat yer a swell, what're ya goin' ta do? Racetrack looked down his nose at Jack, seeing his strange attire and sniffed.

"Get a life, Kelly."

Spot stood, still a little damp. "Hey, look, Higgins. I'll trade you me cane fer dat boid."

"No chance, Conlon. You gots yer tub. I gots me boid."

"Aw, come on, man! Dis cane is one of a kind! Priceless!"

"Forget it, Conlon. Keep yer lousy cane, fer awl I care." Racetrack left the restraunt proudly, the richest swell with a hot tip on the fourth.

Eventually, the group of newsies left the Delancys deciding to take a day off of selling papes.

"Now what?" Snipe asked when all of a sudden Sarah burst out of a building and ran happily towards Jack, but to everyone's surprise she jumped into Spot's arms, who swung her around and kissed her. Everyone went into shock.

"Jack, what happened?" Skittery cried.

Spot grinned. "Sarah and I have been engaged for 2 weeks now." Sarah beamed and Jack started sobbing.

"He made Jack cry!" a few of them whispered and then gathered angrily around Spot.

Suddenly they leaped on him and started to soak the traitor. Snipe got the last few punches in and blackened the scab's left eye. Spot got up and ran away whimpering. The newsies cheered and patted Snipe on the back, congratulating him. He was the hero!

Sarah fell at Snipe's feet. "Oh, you are such a hero! So strong and brave! Will you please marry me?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Sure!" HE got some more congratulating and Sarah kissed him while Jack ran away in tears.

That same evening, as agreed, the Manhattan newsies gathered at their end of the Brooklyn Bridge and Spot and his gang at the other, a huge pile of wood piled in the middle. Slowly the two groups walked toward each other and met in the center. Jack avoided Snipe and Spot.

"So dis is what we do," Spot said loudly. His boys passed around lit torches. "It's pretty simple. Just start burnin'!"

"The bridge?" Snipeshooter shrieked in surprise.

"Yeah!" the boys shouted and lit the pile of wood on fire.

"Talk about burning bridges," Mush laughed and left to bring any wood he could find to add to the mounting flames.

Snipe was horrified! Torching the Brooklyn Bridge? Everyone found and brought more wood to put on the fire. They started to dance around it, shouting and laughing in delight. The bridge was on fire! Black smoke started to block the moon from Snipe's view.

"Fire!" He shouted automatically. "Fire!" He ran from the bridge crying the alarm. "Fire, fire!" Snipe shook his head, smoke clouding his mind..."Fire...fire..." he murmured.

His eyes snapped open. The room was filled with smoke! Snipe jumped out of bed. No one else was awake! "Fire, fire, fire!" he screamed hopping up and down.

Suddenly boys were awake and opening the windows, grabbing their few possessions, and leaping onto the fire escape in their bed clothes and underwear. Soon everyone was out and on the street, staring at the flames leaping from the windows of the bunk room. Kloppman, hearing the shouts of alarm, had called the fire department and was helping them toss buckets of water at the flames. The newsies breathed a sigh of relief once they found that everyone was safe.

Jack looked around. "Who found out there was a fire first?" Everyone was silent.

Racetrack spoke up sleepily, a cigar in his mouth. "I coulda sworn it was Snipe. He was practically screamin' in me ear."

"Was it you?"

"Yeh..." He blushed meekly. Everyone cheered and patted him on the back, punched his arm, or shook his hand. Race even handed Snipe his cigar and ruffled his hair.

"How did ya know?" Mush asked.

Snipe grinned with the cigar hanging from his lips. "You see I had dis dream..."

THE END


End file.
